Jake Bain by Jamie Jones

Jake Bain, interviewed by Jamie Jones. April 27, 2022. St. Louis, MO.

Jamie Jones: Okay. My name is Jamie Jones. I am interviewing Jake Bain. And today's date is Wednesday April 27 2022. Okay. When and where were you born?

Jake Bain: I was born on March 18, 1999, right here in St. Louis Missouri. St. Luke's hospital.

Jamie Jones: St. Luke's Hospital? So was I.

Jake Bain: Oh Nice. I think I was like I was like the biggest baby and, at the time when I was born, I was like 11 pounds nine ounces or something like that.

Jamie Jones: Wow. So what part of St. Louis that you guys live in?

Jake Bain: I grew up in Chesterfield. And then I went to school at Rohan Woods so like, that was closer in like the--I guess like the Ladue, Clayton area, and then I went to high school at John Burroughs, but, so I did about bunch of like commuting back and forth from Clayton to Chesterfield.

Jamie Jones: Did you live in the same house growing up? Like, for your entire childhood?

Jake Bain: Yeah, for my entire, yeah, from the time I was born to the time I graduated high school I lived in the same house in Chesterfield.

Jamie Jones: Um, what is your familiar-- your family and cultural background, if you have any.

Jake Bain: So, I am biracial. So my father is African American and my mom is white. And yeah, my-- I have two older brothers, um. I was raised by a single, single mom. My parents were divorced, when I was like three years old. um but yeah so that. My, my brother, my middle brother, the middle brother, Trevor, is my full brother and then my oldest brother, John, is my half brother from my Mom's first marriage, but that's pretty much, like I have like a bunch of, I have a bunch of-- four aunts and uncles and a bunch of cousins, like all around the country, so I got pretty big family.

Jamie Jones: That's awesome. Did either of your parents remarry after the divorce?

Jake Bain: No.

Jamie Jones: Um, and do you want to speak a little bit about like what it was like growing up biracial? Like, was it hard for you? Did anything happen because of that?

Jake Bain: Yeah, it was definitely it was challenging for me especially like being raised by like, a white mom and um, like I grew up playing sports, um like from as long as I can remember, so I was around mostly, um, other black kids growing up, and like, so like, not being-- feeling like I didn't fit in like, I could never, I never like, fully fit in, like with the white kids. but like also never like fit fully fit in with like the black kids because, like, I had a white mom and like I'm pretty like light skinned so like it was like it's definitely, I guess, challenging like growing up, feeling like I never really, like had, like a community. So to say, because I was like too, I was like dark enough to where like I clearly wasn't white, but like I was not like, I guess, I wasn't clearly-- I wasn't obviously black either, so it was definitely hard to like I guess feel like I could fit in.

Jamie Jones: Mm hmm. Um, so is your mom your, like, your primary parent? Is your dad in the picture at all?

Jake Bain: No, my dad wasn't really in the picture. My mom was my primary parent.

Jamie Jones: Are you and your mom close?

Jake Bain: Yeah we're pretty close. I mean, she lives here in St. Louis still. She's like, I mean she was, she's the person who raised me and, most I would say, along with my grandparents, um, but-- my mom's parents, but like yeah I would--we're pretty close.

Jamie Jones: And you and your brothers?

Jake Bain: Yeah my brothers and I are close, um. They're-- my oldest brother is 14 years older than me and the middle one is four years older than me so like, there's a pretty like big age gap between my oldest brother and I, John, but he's also gay so like. There is like, we were able to like, him and I have like more of a closer relationship, the older like he, like, I guess once we were both older, and like both out as opposed to like, Trevor and I had like a closer relationship growing up as like as, as like we were, as I was, as we were children like because, like John was in college, by the time I was like, could barely-- could remember stuff so like I basically just remember growing up with Trevor in the house.

Jamie Jones: Yeah, um okay, and are you religious?

Jake Bain: I'm not.

Jamie Jones: Were you raised religious?

Jake Bain: I was, I was, I was raised, like going to church. My dad was really religious, um, and like, I knew that um, I guess. He, he coached at like a religious high school here in St. Louis and so um like that, like, I guess, in a way, made me like resent religion, even more. And then like also my sexuality, on top of that, like there's-- I've never like had like, I've never been like really um, I guess, felt like, I was accepted by at least Christianity and so like in turn, like I was kind of was, I've always kind of just like, never really cared for religion, either way.

Jamie Jones: That's completely fair and you're not alone in that at all.

Jake Bain: Yeah.

Jamie Jones: Um, what is, how do you identify within the LGBTQ community?

Jake Bain: I identify as pansexual.

Jamie Jones: Say that one more time.

Jake Bain: Pansexual.

Jamie Jones: Okay cool.

Jamie Jones: You like, cut out a little bit. Yeah, no you're good. Um, okay, so when did you realize, you were like-- when did you adopt that term: pansexual?

Jake Bain: Not 'til like three years ago, I want to say. Um I first, originally came out as bi and then, um, when I had my first boyfriend I like came out as like, then I like started coming out as gay or like saying I was gay because, like it was just easier, um, at the time and then like as I started to like gain like public attention like with like when I came out and, like me, just like also playing sports like that, like that. That was, I guess that like kind of caused a lot of public attention. And they-- it was easier for like, I guess, the public and like people who were writing articles and stuff to just like say the gay football player instead of like, the bisexual football player. And I didn't even know what pansexual was at the time, like I didn't have to like knowledge of what the pansexual community was. Um, I didn't, like, figure that out until like I did more of my own research, like, later on, and like, was exposed to more like resources and stuff like that, like the Trevor Project and Human Rights Campaign and stuff like that. Um, so it wasn't really until I was older and I guess more like mature and like felt like I like knew totally who I was that I could like identify, and then I like went from like identifying as gay then I like re- came out three years ago, as pansexual.

Jamie Jones: Um, so when did you realize that you liked both men and women, and then obviously, that you know, and then, when did you realize it was more than just one gender?

Jake Bain: Um, so I think I had, I'd always like knew that I was attracted to boys and girls, um growing up, and then, as I like-- I, I had no knowledge of the transgender community or just like really my own like thoughts of gender were like pretty limited, I would say, um as opposed to what they are now like, I myself, am very much more fluid in my gender identity, um, and like, I'm like, um, I said I'm, I'm not, I'm not fluid in my gender identity I'm, I'm very firm in my like masculine in my masculinity but like I also like, am like, I'm not afraid to like, wear crop top and short shorts or like paint my nails or something like that either so like I like I'm not like, like, I like, I have a spectrum I guess you could say like when it comes to like my gender expression.

Jake Bain: But my gender identity is pretty like firm as a masculine um so like. Once I like, figured that out, and like figured out like that, like, I really that-- gender wasn't really like a big factor in, a determining factor for me as to who I was attracted to um, like, uh like. As I like, like got older and was exposed to more transgender people or more non binary people and stuff like that, realized that: oh, I could be attracted to them too, I was just like, it's not really like it doesn't make sense for me to like say i'm like bisexual because, like I I don't really see gender as being like something that like, is, is really something that I care about when it when it comes, like, who i'm attracted to like if, if they're-- I'm a lot more attracted to like their personality and like who they are, as a person than like, um, I guess their body parts or like how they identify as themselves and like it's not really something that like, bothers me um and like or something that like is gonna make me less attracted to somebody because of like how they, like identify.

71 00:09:49.230 --> 00:09:53.040 Jamie Jones: Absolutely that makes perfect sense. Um, what do you think about people using the term bisec-- like the label bisexual and pansexual interchangeably because there are people who are bi who say they don't discriminate. Um, and who kind of treat the term as pansexual. So, do you have any opinions on those labels being interchangeable or do you pick whatever works best for you.

74 00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:23.280 Jake Bain: Um for me, I would say that, like, I mean, obviously I would say, everybody should have the freedom to like choose whatever label is best for them, but like, for me I've always, I've always seen them, I didn't, I haven't seen them to be interchangeable, I guess, I would say. I've always seen them to be two different things because, like, when I've thought about bisexual I've always just thought about someone who's either attracted to boys or girls, um, or like males or females, but isn't like necessarily attracted to people outside of the gender spectrum. Um and so like, I think that's kind of where pansexuality comes in, is like being attracted to people who like, who aren't just cisgender people like people that like can be, um like transgender or like non-binary or intersex or whatever you may you have like just not not really caring about like. Not, not caring about the gender binary I guess. I think that's where the difference is, at least in my opinion, like and that's-- I can be wrong on that, but that's just from my--

Jamie Jones: You're not wrong.

Jake Bain: Okay

Jamie Jones: You're not wrong in your own opinion so don't worry about that, yeah. Um, what has your college experience been like as a queer student? Do you use the term queer, by the way?

Jake Bain: Yeah I just recently started using the term queer, like, more often. Like I, it's always it's always been a mouthful to say LGBTQ plus and like, I like, yeah. So I have started I have started using the term queer a lot more of this past year.

Jamie Jones: Yeah.

87 00:11:43.320 --> 00:11:44.730 Jake Bain: But yeah, my, um. Uh, it's been like a whirlwind of like different like experiences. I've been to three colleges now, so this is my third college, hopefully my last one, knock on wood. Like I want to graduate here, graduate from UMSL. But, like my first college, I went to Indiana State, um and that was strictly for football, um. Like I was, I went on, like a full ride scholarship for football and like, I hadn't like, in high school I hadn't looked at any other places um like that. Like I hadn't, the only thing I was like going to school for was like to play football, I guess, like at the time, like not like-- That's that's not true. But like I knew I wanted to play football in school, and there was, I was majoring in-- um, I knew I wanted to like, do something outside of football like in the long term, but like I knew that football was something that I wanted to do. Well, um and so, that kind of limited, the, my options as to where I could go because, like, I had to go where I was gonna be able to get a scholarship. Um, coming from a single parent like family and stuff like that, like it's-- especially my mom, who was a teacher like, I've always been on like, financial aid and stuff like that growing up, and so um, I definitely needed to like have like that stability of having the scholarship um, with football. And so I guess like when I came out, um, I came out my se-- I publicly came out my senior year of high school and so that, like, affected my college a lot because, like when I came onto campus like I felt like everyone kind of already knew who I was. Um which was like, hard, when I was trying to just like figure out like-- I, this is my first time in college, like. I don't know, just trying to like figure things out, like figure out what college was like, like how to be like a student athlete, like how to balance, like, all the stresses and stuff that I had with football and then like also just how to be a normal college student. Like, it was all new and I was in a new state like I was in Terre Haute, Indiana, which is a very like, conservative town in Indiana and, like. The school itself, Indiana State, was actually very progressive, I would say, for the most part, it was a good-- They, they created a good environment on campus but like, now you can only do so much and you can't like, control what's on, what's on the outside of campus, you know. I mean we were still in the middle of Terre Haute, Indiana so like. It wasn't the best environment, I mean, driving around, off campus you'd see confederate flags and stuff like that so like growing up like, with that and then like having everybody know that like oh he's the gay football player on campus like. It was like, challenging to just be like, feel like I could be like a normal student, like a normal student athlete. Just like, enjoy like, what college would be like had I not been out I guess. Um, or had I not been playing football, one or the other. Um, doing them both at the same time was really challenging. Um, but, again, like it got, it like-- it escalated, like, I guess, throughout the football season. Like I had, like the Westboro Baptist Church like come to like one of the college games and like protests and like, that

Jamie Jones: Protest what?

Jake Bain: Like against me--

Jamie Jones: Against you?

Jake Bain: Yeah yeah, yeah just, they had originally-- they first came and protested against me in high school, at John Burroughs, and then after I got, after I signed, um, to play Indiana State they came my freshman year and protested against me again.

Jake Bain: Um, during a football game, because they just didn't like the fact that I was like, openly gay and like openly queer and playing football and so, um.

Jake Bain: Yeah. So that was interesting obviously and that created a lot of attention and like good and bad and like I mean, I had the New York Times like come and, like they sent a reporter down and like they, like, interviewed me for a few days, and like I mean that like, in itself created a lot of attention, like again both good and bad. Like on one hand, like, I thought it was cool that like, more people were like starting to like be aware, and like become aware of like, the LGBTQ plus community in sports and like what I was trying to like get across was just like that, like visibility was like really important-- to like have more athletes, like openly queer athletes in sports to like hopefully show others that are in the closet that didn't feel like they, they had people to look up to like I felt, like honestly, in high school. Um, that there was other athletes and that like it was possible to like play sports and be queer, um, at least openly, you know. And so like, there was that, and then, just like also just like, on the other hand, like.

I also, like, was still a freshman and like, I was on a football team of 100 guys, like all which, like had-- had done like some-- some of the guys were like seniors and juniors like older guys, had been in the program for three four years, like. Had done a lot more work than I had done in the short amount of time that I had been there and like definitely deserved a lot more attention than I did, for like, for what they were doing on the field. And it's like, I'm getting all this attention just because of my sexuality, like, something that like, has nothing to do with like my actual play on the football field, and so it's like, just how that created like, its own, like you know, dynamic inside the locker room and stuff like that. And like, feeling like, what like, having to worry like if if my own teammates like were like hating on me because, not because, like of my sexuality, because, like, I really.

I felt really, truly supported by all my teammates at Indiana State in terms of who I was, like, in my sexuality, but, just like the fact that I was getting, like, all this attention like, for something that they, I guess, didn't fully understand. Because to my knowledge, I was the only openly queer person on the team. So, at Indiana State, it was like it, I don't know, my sexuality certainly made it challenging, um I would say, or just the connection between my sexuality and me playing sports made it challenging um, I had then-- So I decided after my freshman year to stop playing football and then, once-- and honestly like, it'd gotten to a point where my mental health like, needed, like I needed to stop playing football. Um, I couldn't continue to like, do-- I wish I could have-- like honestly, like, I genuinely love football and like, I miss it every day, like, for sure, but like I also knew that like I couldn't continue to like, deal with like the mental stress that was going on. I mean, I was getting like messages and stuff from-- All kinds of great messages and all kinds of horrible messages from people all across the world, honestly, like. I ended up going on the Ellen DeGeneres show and stuff like that. So like, my story had like, become like world news at a certain point, um, and so like it just it caused a lot of like, attention that like, as a 19 year old kid I didn't necessarily-- I wasn't ready for. And so like that, that's why I decided to like take a step back from football and I took a gap semester, and then I ended up going to North Carolina State, um, after Indiana State.

And North Carolina State, um, I went there because honestly, I was chasing my high school, like, sweetheart at the time, and so obviously that wasn't like probably the smartest decision, looking back, because we're not together anymore, so like.

It's like-- it was bittersweet because, like obviously it was, it was, I think I needed to experience it, I think I needed to have that experience of like-- like going out there, trying to like, trying to like make it work and stuff but like just realizing that like we were moving in different directions and, um. So I, then I was at North Carolina State and the pandemic hit, and like I was really only there from the beginning--My boyfriend, my ex, at the time--he goes he goes to UNC, Chapel Hill,

And so I like, the only reason why I was really up in North Carolina to begin with, was because I like, was dating him, and so, once we had broken up, I was like, well shit, now I'm like, in a pandemic, and I'm up in college like, spending like a lot of money on out of--tuition like, I probably should come back home and like, do school back from St. Louis again so. That's when, that's when I decided to come to UMSL.

Um, and-- my sexuality at UMSL, honestly, like has been really-- it's helped, I think. It kind of like came full circle, um. I was able to-- I got a job, um, this past year as a student program manager for LGBTQ plus and diversity initiatives on campus and I was able to start really like, doing things on campus that I really enjoyed and things that made me really passionate, like, I felt really passionate about. Um, I created a, an organization called Sports Universal, um, my first year here, working, which is kind of-- just kind of like, I think a culmination of everything that I've kind of wanted to do, and like have experienced in my own life, um, these past like, five, ten years. Just like, playing sports and also being a member of the LGBTQ plus community, um, a group that's been pretty marginalized in sports and history, throughout history. Being able to like, bring those two communities together in a way that like now, I feel like I-- I'm creating a community on campus and hopefully-- larger in the St. Louis area as a whole, where it's a community where like people can come and play sports and participate in athletics, um, and not have to worry about people treating them differently or discriminating against them because of who they are or how they identify. Um, I think, just like creating that environment is really important, and it's something that, like a lot of kids don't have, unfortunately, and I mean, we see here now in Missouri like, Senate bill 781 is supposed to be passed here in August of this year, which is the Women's Sports Act which is going to completely ban all trans females from being able to participate in athletics, and like.

I mean that's just here in Missouri. I mean, it's, it's happening everywhere in the country-- across the country like-- to see the overall like, attack on the LGBTQ plus community is like-- it's really sad and like I--

We need more, like, I guess, organizations and like people, like, I guess standing up and in environments, like athletics, where like, they have been historically marginalized. So like, that's kind of what i've been trying to do with Sports universal and like.

Just like I guess in the past, like with my job here at UMSL and stuff like that, and so, I think that's allowed me to like, really just come into my own as like-- who I know I am. Like, in my sexuality and also what I hope to do, which is like create a inclusive and diverse environment and athletics. Um so yeah, that's kind of been like my-- my, my span-- my timeline of college, I would say, and like how my sexuality has impacted it. Sorry for the long answer.

Jamie Jones: Long answers are good in this situation, are you kidding me? Um, so do you just have the one ex boyfriend or have you dated around?

Jake Bain: Yeah, I've one ex boyfriend and then I'm currently, I've been dating someone for the past year now so.

Jamie Jones: Wow, awesome.

Jake Bain: Yeah.

Jamie Jones: And are you happy?

Jake Bain: Yeah I am. I'm really happy. He goes to SLU and he's-- we're in the same grade and hopefully be able to graduate together so-- good.

Jamie Jones: That's awesome. Let me ask: who did you first come out to?

Jake Bain: Ooh that's a good question. Um, I want to say it was one of my best friends from high school, I think. I think it was Patrick Bolster. He as one of my, my high school, like childhood best friend. We like-- not like, we became friends in seventh grade. Um, like in middle school and then like we just kind of-- My grandma actually taught him um, in like kindergarten or first grade or something like that. Um, and, just like a small world like we ended up being in the same like class in high school and middle school so, and like becoming friends at that so yeah he was the first person I told. Um, and yeah he has just been like a good friend of mine.

Jamie Jones: When did you--are you out to your family? I'm assuming you are, because of all of the--

Jake Bain: Yeah, yeah.

Jamie Jones: Like kind of hard to not--

Jake Bain: Yeah.

Jamie Jones: And how they feel about it?

Jake Bain: Um, I think they were fine-- I mean now they're good-- they're okay with it now, it was something that like, it worried them at first, when I was coming out. Um, specifically because of like how it would impact my ability to play sports and, just like, the like fears that they, like, they like-- the-- I think, at the time, I didn't think they were fair fears, but like looking back now and, like seeing what like all the-- the experience that I actually like happened like-- in hindsight it's definitely, their fears were warranted, um because there was a lot of like extra like, I guess, crap that I got because of me deciding to come out and also playing football, um. But I also like, I don't think I-- I don't, I wouldn't change it for anything and I don't think I would have like been happier, had I had been in the closet throughout that whole time, I don't. I think I would have been just as-- going crazy, if not even worse. So like, um, I'm genuinely happy, the way it went and, like my family, like, they like support who I am now and, like I said, my oldest brother is gay so like it wasn't, like new to them, like it wasn't-- I'm not the first gay person in my family. I come from a pretty, a very diverse family, um, so like it wasn't the fact that I was gay, I guess, or like that I was like a part of the queer community, it was just like the fact that umm I was doing it on such a public stage, I guess.

Jamie Jones: Yeah. Um, what does coming out mean to you?

Jake Bain: You know, to me, it means like, just being able to be your most authentic self. And, in any environment that you are in. And like, it's not something that like, happens one time, and like that's, I think, a common misconception: that like you come out once and like you never have to do it again. Um I find myself, I find myself like coming out sometimes like in every room I walk into. Almost like, I mean, it's weird, like if you walk into like a room of strangers like, and you just happen to be like-- I mean, I wear like, rainbow wristbands and stuff like that so like I--I guess like people like, depending on like how I present that day like, I might like be more gay or not like. I might present as like more, like gay or not, that day. So like you know it's like it's um, it's like, it's an experience that, like I hope, um, we don't have to have, eventually, um, I don't think people should like-- the same way straight people aren't like, walking around like, talking about their like straightness or like their sexuality like. I don't know like, people just kind of assume that people are straight unless otherwise and like, I think that, like, I hope that at least that one day we're able to get to that point where like it's not like-- there isn't like, assumptions that like someone's just straight and like there's just--people just don't care like that's not something that like, is the first thing that comes to people's minds, um.

But at the same time, I do think it's-- coming out, it's still like an experience, and it's a process for kids now that like can be like really like, monumental, I guess, for a lot of people and, like it should be. People should have the ability to have whatever coming out experience they want. Like as big or as small as they want it to be.

And, like, I think it like, it really just depends on the person, obviously, and the situation and your ability like, how you feel like you can, you can come out or not, and at, to what level you want to do it. Um, but like, I think it's something that like, is freeing, eventually. Like if you get--you have like that feeling of like, that literal feeling of like a weight lifted off your shoulders, and like, it's kind of like-- cliché to say, but like it genuinely sometimes feels that way of just like. Like, depending on like the-- depending on the coming out experience.. like depending on like who you just came out to, because, like like I said, like it you don't just come out one time, but like. I've definitely had some coming out experiences that've just like been like, really like, freeing. Like, coming out to like--the first time I came out to like my football, my high school football coach, for instance, like that was like a really like, freeing experience. So like, the first time I came out to my college football coach like that was a really freeing experience and like. Um, coming out to friends and stuff like that, like people-- like meaningful people in your life, like those are, I think, like.

For me at least they've been like really good, impactful experiences and like, I know for a lot of people they aren't and like a lot of people sometimes. They have a-- their coming out experience can be really bad or they're like just, like I guess really traumatizing for them so like it, I know it's like it's a-- it's an experience that, like, is, um, I guess. There's an array of emotions that people can feel from it, but it's one that, nonetheless, is like an important part of like the LGBTQ plus community and like it is something that like, is like a hallmark that I think everyone, who, at least to this point, um, today has, has had to experience in the queer community to some level. So, like-- to some level.

Jamie Jones: Yeah. Really, really well put. Um, What supportive figures do you have in your life? So like, who raised you, who do you go to for anything?

Jake Bain (He/Him): Um, my mom was like my rock, I would say, growing up. We definitely have like, a like, strained relationship or like, one that is like--we butted heads a lot, because I think we're like, both like. A very, um, like, we both think that like-- I don't know. I'm definitely her son. I'm just her but, 40, 50 years younger. So it's like, she's really set in her ways, but like they can be a little bit more conservative than my ways and like so like, that tends to butt heads sometimes. But like nonetheless, she's still my mother and she's still always like been there for me when, like other people weren't. And like-- so like, I do know that and like I--I respect, I respect that and love her for that and, like. So my mom was definitely someone that like, I guess was like, a big like, role model-- like she was someone that just like-- I knew I was always going to have in my corner. Like she's my mom, you know, like I luckily I was, I was able to have like that mom. I didn't have that with my dad, and I mean, that was like-- that was, it was tough. Like she, like, my mom played like mom and dad. Like both roles, you know.

And so I think that probably comes-- that probably plays on along some of the like, I guess, butting heads, because you know, like there wasn't like, there was-- there wasn't two parents to like, to like go off like whatever, like what I was dealing with you know, like I-- she was like the only-- she was only person I was-- she was the only parent that was dealing with my issues, I guess, at the time.

Um, and then my grandparents, um, along with my mom. Both my mom's parents were like, just really like, influential-- like are influential people in my life. They like, I'm lucky to still have both of them today, and like. I would say my grandfather like is the person who like-- gave me my love for like for sports today. Sorry.

Jamie Jones: It's okay.

Jake Bain: My, yeah. My grandpa's like, a really special person for me, I guess.

Jamie Jone: Mmm hmm.

Jake Bain: He like, he was able to like fill in for like where my dad wasn't. And then my grandma is just like the sweetest so like, that helps, I guess.

Jamie Jones: You need a second?

Jake Bain: Sure, thank you.

Jamie Jones: You're welcome.

Jake Bain: Yeah. That was my support system that is my support system, in a nutshell. There's a lot of other people too, like, there's like football coaches and stuff like that that have been really, like, helpful in my life as well. My high school football coach, John Merritt, was a really like, helpful person for me, um, just to like-- he was, he was really supportive of like me coming out and being myself so that um. I would say I needed that like at that time, like I needed someone in the athletic community to like tell me, I could be myself. Um, so like, yeah.

Jamie Jones: Yeah. Do you want a drink? It's okay, if I talk about how great my dad is for too long, I start to get teary too, so.

Jake Bain: Yeah. it's just like-- when you talk about family, like, it's so loaded, like.

Jamie Jones: So loaded.

Jake Bain: And there's there's so many great memories, that you have with everyone. And like also so many likes, horrible one. So it's like, you don't like, you don't realize how much you love them until you talk about them, I guess, like.

Jamie Jones: That is one thousand percent true, yeah. So. Yeah. My dad's been gone for like three days on a business trip and I called him today and I almost cried. And I'm like: I am an adult, why am I crying? So I totally understand; you are A-okay.

Jake Bain: Yeah.

Jamie Jones: It's nice when somebody loves you enough that you feel that much emotion talking about them.

Jake Bain: That's true.

Jamie Jones: Yeah, so.

Jake Bain: Especially like, yeah for sure, and like COVID has been like, crazy. Like you know, it's just like, everything's like, you know you can't see people as much anymore, like the people that you love especially. Like my grandparents like, they're like older now. They're getting older and it's like, I don't--Yeah we live in St Louis but it's like I don't want to like-- like I'm vaccinated, they're vaccinated and everything but it's just you never know, you know, like.

Jamie Jones: Yeah.

Jake Bain: Something could happen that's-- It's scary you know, like with all like all the deaths that have happened in the United States in the past two years, like it definitely changes your perspective on things for sure.

Jamie Jones: Absolutely yeah and you don't want to go over there-- It's in the the back of your mind all the time.

Jake Bain: Mmm hmm.

Jamie Jones: Yeah. So I completely understand that too. Yeah it's been tough. Has the pandemic really been tough for you, like just everything?

Jake Bain: Yeah, I think isolate-- like the amount of isolation that there's been like I was someone that was like always like, a very sociable person, a very social person, um, in high school and stuff like that, and kinda always with friends and stuff, so. Then, like going from that to like being locked in my room for basically like a whole semester. Like it was crazy like it was it was definitely just a change for sure, and like it was tough like, not being able to like I guess be outside as much as I wanted to be and stuff like that and, I definitely-- it affects me still most in school, I would say, like all my classes are still online, for the most part, I have like one or two in person classes and the rest are online and so it's like.

I was somebody that's like really like, I learned better like in person and like i'm I am great if I can see a teacher write on the board and stuff like that, like, that's how I learned. I'm a very visual learner and like if it's. It's just not the same like on zoom and then like, especially when like it goes asynchronous then like it's like even harder like then I'm like feel like i'm literally just teaching myself the class so it's like, that. School has definitely been affected as well, like by the pandemic.

Jamie Jones: Yeah um, so I know you said your older brother is gay so, what was the attitude surrounding the queer community, LGBT community, in your family growing up?

Jake Bain: In my family growing up um they were it was like, honestly, I didn't-- it wasn't talked about for real until like my brother came out and um, like so like it wasn't negatively, it was never any negative like, connotations about the gay community or like the LGBT community like um, in my family and prior to my brother coming out. And then, once he came out-- He came out once he was in college.

Jamie Jones: How old were you?

Jake Bain: I was probably like 10 years old, at the time, I want to say. 10 or 11, and so I was like. I honestly don't even think I like really fully understood like really the significance of him coming out then. It wasn't until I was probably like 13 or 14 and started like, realizing that like I was attracted to guys, and then like I like remembered like oh that's right like my oldest brother John like once told-- like once came out and was like gay and that's like a connection now and, like so it was like. I guess for him, like it was, he kind of like a came out like for me like in a way, like, was the first person to come out in the family and like and like broke the ice like you know, like, so to speak for my family and like. And, which was a good thing, I guess, for me, I was lucky for these other gay people as well, in my family now. I have an uncle who's also gay and so. That is just like, it helps I guess for sure it's always just been like, just something that like hasn't really affected, I guess, my family in any negative way for sure, and it is definitely been something that's like, probably brought us together a little bit more if anything.

Jamie Jones: Did he ever bring anybody home? Like did you ever like, you know, get to see him with like-- Did you ever, like get to see a relationship of two men and think that was--

Jake Bain: Unfortunately, no I didn't like that was--Because John was like, so much older than me like he, like was already in college and like out of college by then, he went to college like out of state, he went to Knox College in Galesburg. And so, like um, it like it doesn't like I guess it wasn't until he, like, I mean he's married now to man and so like it wasn't really until I like, like went to like his wedding and stuff like, and I mean and that wasn't until I was older that like I really like. And I was already dating like someone. That was when I was dating my ex, at the time that and so like it was by that point like I started-- My first boyfriend was my junior year of high school so like. Before then, no, I didn't have like any like real like I mean I guess just whatever was on TV at the time, like. That was would have been my, like, representation of a true like gay like relationship was because, like. There weren't-- I went to a pretty small small high school. There was only 600 kids in the whole school and so like there weren't any like other openly queer couples at the time I was going there and so like it wasn't like-- it wasn't that it wasn't accepted and it wasn't like an okay thing it just wasn't like something that I guess, happened or kids still felt comfortable enough to do. Um so yeah, we like were the first couple to like go to prom together and stuff like that, and like so it's like I guess that, in a way kind of broke the ice in itself, I would, I would say, like and like made it so that like. I felt like I was kind of just like picking things--like, like. My own experience was like the first, my first like, experience of like the gay community for real. Like I didn't have like any like prior like knowledge, I guess, I was kind of having to like learn on the fly I guess what you could say.

Jamie Jones: Yeah, yeah. Have you ever dated um, a woman, or someone who's non-binary?

Jake Bain: Yeah I did, yes, I dated girls in high school as well, I dated two girls in high school and then I have like uh, girl--friends sort of in college like on and off again like. Yeah.

Jamie Jones: Um, do you remember the first time that you felt like you were a part of the LGBT community?

Jake Bain: I want to say it was probably. I mean, do you mean the first time I knew I was like?

Jamie Jones: The first time you felt like you were LGBT. The first time you felt like okay: there is a community and I'm in it.

Jake Bain: Okay yeah because, like it's different between like the first time I knew I was attracted to guys and the first time I was like oh I'm a part of this community now.

Jamie Jones: Yeah yeah yeah.

Jake Bain: Yeah um I would say, probably around my junior year of high school was when I started to like, really come to terms with who I was at least in terms of like knowing that I was a part of the LGBTQ plus community and like wanting to like wanting that to be a part of who I was-- like more, like more of like a visible part of who I was I guess. Or like, just like not something that I, that I felt like I had to hide anymore um. I wanted to like just kind of be myself a little bit more. And like I knew it was gonna like, come with like a potential price, but like I didn't really like. I was at a point where like, I wanted to, I don't know, like, I just wanted to be myself I guess.

Jamie Jones: That's completely valid, yeah. Everybody wants that.

Jake Bain: Yeah.

Jamie Jones: Um, have you felt accepted within the community, like just within, like you know, the community but, like the LGBT community.

Jake Bain: Yeah um as a whole, yes, I would say, um there's definitely been times, where I felt like I wasn't accepted um-- One being just, being an athlete like that's like that's still something that's like-- especially an athlete in a sport that was a male dominated sport or just like a very like hyper masculine sport like football is and like um having there not be like, really, a space for the LGBTQ plus community in football yet, like. There, I guess, I didn't feel as like accepted because, like, I felt like, I could like I guess, pass like, for straightness like so I guess I could straight pass before like I was like openly gay-- people knew like, I was like a gay football player, but like, people, I guess, still, like people in the gay community still assumed that like because I can come off as like, more masculine sometimes that like I somehow like, have it easier or something, but like it's still like pretty much-- Like I mean at least back then, it was very known that, like, I was a part of the queer community so like yes, I came off more masculine but like it wasn't necessarily something that like, made it any easier for me, I would say. Um, but I guess there was like sometimes misconceptions that it did, and so that's where there was a little bit of friction and then also just like when I came out as pansexual. That kind of caused like, in itself another like little-- um, like there was there was some backlash from like members of the queer community who would like, say that, like, I was like, like not--. I was like not like: Oh he's attracted-- he's attracted to girls now so like, he's like, not gay. I think, like if I was attracted to girls, or something, like I somehow wasn't queer anymore, or like. There was only like, I had to be gay, There wasn't like--. like pansexual wasn't a thing, basically, like I guess, to some people like. Like it wasn't acceptable, um, I guess. So like, I definitely felt like some of that coming from the queer community, but I would say overall, um, there's been like a lot of support for me and like just for like me coming out. Like when I came out in high school and like had the Westboro Baptist Church like come and protest against me like.

There was people from all over St. Louis like, that I didn't even know, like from different like schools around the, around St. Louis that came and like counter protested and stuff like that, and like helps, like, decorate the school and like create like a day of Pride and stuff like that. So like there was definitely a lot of support as well, and like I've continued to have like, a lot of support from the queer community. Like I said, like I got to go, like, on the Ellen show and stuff like that, like I've been able to work with Human Rights Campaign and the Trevor Project and things like that. So like, I've been able to like, I guess, work with a lot of other members of the queer community which has, I guess, in turn, like. I've just created a lot of really like great connections like, deep, strong like connections within the LGBT community now that like it's like. It'd be hard for I guess someone now in the queer community to not like say that, like I'm an active participant of your community, but like I don't know. To each their own, I guess, like and I'm sure there'll always be people that try to like, say that but, like it is what it is, you know.

Jamie Jones: So just to say that, like biphobia and bi erasure and and panphobia and pan erasure are still running rampant?

Jake Bain: I would say yeah, I mean, I would definitely still think-- I still think that like, there's still a certain percentage of the queer community that like, doesn't see people who are pan or people who are bi as like equals, to the queer community and for that, and on that same hand people who are trans, like. I think they have their own like struggle as like being accepted in the queer community. Um, and I think like there's definitely a lot of that still--like there's like, in the community, like, hate toward-- like I don't want to say hate, but like almost, like just disliking towards each other and like. It's just like, with any like, I don't know, with any minority group, like it's like people want to like be able to like try to like find what find little ways to like get one up on each other and like. That's just I feel, like human, like, nature in a way. Um, to like not want to be at the bottom of the totem pole so, so to speak, and so it's like.

Anyway, like I see in the black community too, I mean, depending on if you're like lighter skinned or darker skinned, like you're going to get like hate and stuff like that from inside your own community and so like and, unfortunately, is like a product of I think, human nature. That it'd be great to like, try to change one day, but like um I don't know, yeah. I do still think there is, like some of that--a good amount of that like, within the LGBT plus community as well.

Jamie Jones: Going back to the Westboro Baptist Church protesting, how did it make you feel when people came out in support of you, who didn't even know you?

Jake Bain: That was really cool. I mean, thats was the first time, like that made me feel like, like I like could be myself, I guess, for the first time that, like, I was seen like, as like my true self and now like I didn't have to hide who I was anymore because there was gonna be like people who like-- I finally, I was, for the first time I could see that there was like a lot of people-- outside of just like my mom and, like my close family members and friends that were going to like, support me like, if I decided to come out.

Jake Bain: And so, like, just to like see the support like that, like wide of a scale, I guess, was inspiring to me to want to like keep going and like keep pushing the bar forward so that more kids could like also be open and be themselves in sports because I felt like it was still-- And there's still today, like I think there's still lack of visibility of like queer, openly queer athletes like, in athletics, and like there's definitely certainly been--more of it in the female sports. Um and we see more visibility in women's sports, which is great, um, but I also-- like it's-- there hasn't been as much, visibility of the queer community in men's sports and so like it'd be great to see more like openly queer males or participate-- people who are participating in male sports and stuff like that. That'd be great to see more because I think it would help with-- it would help like combat some of the like hyper masculinity um, honestly, like misogynist, like environment that can kind of be created in sports and a lot of the male dominated sports.

But yeah, I mean, I do think that. I mean, I would say that, like, for the most part, my--my experiences have been like pretty um-- like, just inspiring I would say, like just to see like the amount of support that I've gotten from people that like don't really even like know me personally, but just see that there's like someone who is trying to like-- create a space for other queer athletes and it's nice to see that people care.

Jamie Jones: Yeah. 1000%. Um-- do you want to speak at all about your media engagement like, you know, being interviewed by different-- different news outlets. Maybe talk about being on the Ellen show, but maybe you're tired of that. So do you want to speak on that at all-- if you want to go ahead.

Jake Bain: Uh, yeah I can talk a little bit about all right, I mean it's honestly it's just, it was like-- Anytime like I think, I think now my-- it was cool at the beginning, um, just to like be on the Ellen show and, like I would get like-- I'd have like people like writing articles about me like. I thought it was cool in the moment because, like it was like: Oh, like you're in the spotlight type thing, but like looking back-- I feel like as I've gotten older and like, am starting to get like more mature, I'm able to like also see like, a much bigger picture um. And see that, like, each time like I guess, I'm able to like talk about my story, or like be on a platform like the Ellen show or like the New York Times, stuff like that, or like, an openly queer person in athletics is being talked about. Like I think that in itself is a win for like our community and like is something that um, shouldn't, I guess-- I don't take lightly or as lightly, as I, as I used to anymore um.

I definitely, I always, I don't, I don't want to say I took it lightly during the moment because, like, I definitely-- it was it was crazy, it was it was always crazy like when it happened, like, I was, I mean. I was an 18, 19, 20 year old kid like being able to do some of those like amazing things and tell my story um.

But like, I certainly look back now, and I sit, and I see like just so many different perspectives about how, like, I mean, I still get--I get messages from parents now who are like asking me how--what advice I could give to their kids who are at my high school like now, and like are even at different high schools around St. Louis like who have just heard my stories throughout the years and, like. I mean they-- they're able to like now see that there's-- there have been like queer athletes before and like that there, there are stories about it, like it's been in the news. Positive stories about like queer athletes doing well in sports and like so now, the next like little 10 to 15 year old kid who's in the queer community and also wants to play sports is able to do research and see that, like hey it's possible. Like you know, I'm not alone. And that's I think that's-- that is what's really important and what I really want to continue, moving forward, is just like creating that like visibility um and like that that space for others, like others, after me who are like similar to me are just feel like they want to play sports and be like-- they want to, they just want to do like what other kids like enjoy doing and but also just be themselves while doing it like, you know, I think that's like, shoot, having kids that have the ability to just to feel like they can play sports and be themselves is something that like-- I want to continue to push moving forward and like creating a space where that's possible. Um, so I know it's definitely going to take a lot of work and it's there's there's definitely like a lot of-- people like on the opposing side that don't think that like sports are an environment for-- everyone in the queer community and so, trying to change people's minds is definitely something that's going to take work but it's something that, I think, is the right thing to do, and something that I want to continue to do.

Jamie Jones: That's awesome. Really powerful, awesome. Do you ever feel pressure to provide an opinion on issues facing the LGBT community. Feel like there's too much weight on your shoulders to like, represent the community as a whole, or do you feel like you have to like educate others on LGBT issues?

Jake Bain: Sometimes, yes, I do think that there's like a lot of like-- that there's pressure and like, but like I think that's-- I wouldn't say that that's like a bad thing, necessarily, like, I think it like at least, it means that, like, there's work to be done and that like there's, I guess, conversations that are being had. Because I would--I'd much rather like, have the pressure of like people talking--. people asking me about like, about like the queer community and like asking me what it's like to be like a queer athlete or like what I think about this topic.

Rather than like it just not being on people's minds and like no one like giving a damn, like you know. I mean if it was like if it was like that, and like it was we were still at a point where like, people just didn't care um-- I think it would be a lot harder um and like so, so I would say, like yes, the pressure does get hard-- like there's a lot of it sometimes um, just but like also knowing that like this, this it's not just me-- like there's other like, there are, there are now like becoming-- like there are more and more like I guess openly queer people in sports and just also allies, like in sports that are like, being more vocal about the LGBT plus community, um, and queer athletes, in general. So like, I think it's a slow process, doesn't happen overnight, but there's-- I do see like a continued push for like, people to just want there to be an equal environment in sports for queer people, just to play. And I think it's going to take time and there's probably going to be a lot of setbacks.

And it's going to suck. Like I think the Women's Sports Act is going to get passed here in Missouri and like it's going to get passed in a lot of other states around you know, like around the United States before like, the Equality Act gets passed and so um, just like knowing that. Having the like, knowledge that, like, there are going to be people in our community that are like, attacked because of who they are like and knowing that there isn't a lot that we can do about it, right now, like today, sucks. And it makes me, like want-- it makes me want to do more, and so like that's, I guess, just like what just like keeps me going.

Jamie Jones: Yeah. Do you feel like overwhelmed with the amount of like, legislation that's being like um, proposed and passed and just like-- it's just a constant attack. Does that like ever overwhelm you?

Jake Bain: Yeah. it sucks. I mean, it's like, cause like. I take a step back--I mean like, they're attacking the trans community now, but like-- it's like, the trans community is like, our community, you know, like they're part of the LGBT plus community. The trans community today and, like it'll be like-- they'll just come right back like for, like other members of the LGBTQ plus community later and so like--. I just I just hope that like people in our community are like able to like realize this like sooner rather than later that like we should like really start coming together to like, protect our rights before it's like-- becomes a lot more harder to like get them back because you know, I mean, there are people that are still like to this day, in our government, like actively trying to like make it harder and harder to be a openly queer, happy person, so I mean. Until like-- then, that means that we have to have people that are like trying twice as hard to like keep it that way. And like, make sure that we have more protections and so like, just continuing to like, I guess, make sure that people don't get complacent when like this-- I mean people, people will see that that same sex marriage was legalized in 2015 and forget that was a five to four ruling, you know.

And so, like. it's like-- you gotta just like, trying to turn that to I guess, remind people that like I mean-- Just open, open any news source and and and look at the daily, almost like daily amounts of new legislation being proposed and being signed into law that goes against our community and like it doesn't-- you don't have to look very far to like see how much it like -- there's really an active push to like to silence our community and so it's just-- it's scary, yeah. It definitely is, as someone who's like growing up in this world, and like, trying to like I guess hope that like people care enough because, like that's, the only way like anything will ever change is if like, people-- if enough public-- if there's enough public interest and like there's enough like people that care and so like if-- If there isn't enough people that care, then like we're just going to like continue to see this type of stuff happen and that's unfortunate, so I hope that um--it's, it's a lot of, a lot of pressure and it's a lot of stress on like anyone in the queer community growing up today who like sees, just, our community being attacked each day, but like I hope it like lights a fire under everyone's behinds to like really start, start like, start going to work, I mean.

Jamie Jones: Yeah, yeah. It's been tough, yeah. Do you ever like have to take a break from it, just like not check the news and just like, you know, just to protect your own sanity.

Jake Bain: Yes, yes. I do sometimes. You try to. It's just like. I don't know, I feel like, there's, yeah, I mean there's there's always-- I try, I try to more often now like disconnect from like the outside like, from like, just the constant source of news that's like-- because it seems like there's breaking news like every day at this point so it's like you know it's-- it can definitely get overwhelming and like it's it's nice to like, I'm like, doing a lot of writing right now so like just, like have that like space to just go into and, or just get outside and-- the weather's getting nice now and, like-- just enjoying like, the weather's been nice, so. There are times, definitely, I'm trying to like make it a point to like not be so consumed, in like what's going on around us, but like, then I like also remember that, like. I don't know if, like if I'm not worrying about it, I feel like I'm like not doing enough. I know that's not like the case and, like I shouldn't think that way but like. I don't know it's just my own like-- I guess that's like kind of the like the athlete in me a little bit, or just like the like the competitive, the competitive jive I've always, I want to achieve the goal that I've set out for myself, you know so yeah.

Jamie Jones: Did you only ever play football?

Jake Bain: Ah, no. I played football, basketball, baseball, and I ran track. And then that was all in high school and then I played soccer, like when I was younger like in elementary school as well.

Jamie Jones: And is football, like the one thing you really-- like I mean, I'm sure you enjoyed all of it, but it's like probably a favorite.

Jake Bain: Football was my favorite, baseball was like, close, um, I was like-- I thought about maybe trying to play baseball in college, but like football is where like the money was going to be so like I-- that's why I decided to play football. Like I probably was the best at football, honestly. But I yeah I was someone that like I-- my whole family is athletes and so like I, I just kind of-- it's what I knew, growing up, was just playing sports and so, and it was also like just it was a nice like outlet for me to like be able to not have to worry about, I guess, all the crap that was going on in my life for a few hours a day, you know.

Jamie Jones: Yeah, a nice break from that. Um, a little segue here: have you ever attended pride events?

Jake Bain: Yes, yeah I got to be-- I was in the DC Pride parade of 2018. But yeah um. I was actually, it was like in like Dupont circle, um, and like I was in a buggy that around the parade and that was really fun. DC was--That was the first Pride parade I'd been to-- and just like having it be the one in DC was like really cool, it was like probably 100,000 people there something like that so. That was us crazy um, but then like yeah I've been to-- I've been a couple years here in St. Louis as well. Those I think, those are the only two I've been to-- St. Louis and DC.

Jamie Jones: So DC was probably the highlight for you.

Jake Bain: Yeah, for sure.

Jamie Jones: Yeah, okay. Um so when gay marriage was legalized in 2015-- Do you remember, like that day? Do you remember that happening?

Jake Bain: Yeah I remember exactly where I was, I was like, I was in Chicago. I was visiting my brother who's actually my gay brother. Like him and his--they weren't married at the time they were like just partners like just like I guess his boyfriend at the time. We were in the, I don't remember which, I think we were in Grant Park and their flag football, it was like their gay flag football league.

It was like, they were just like out there, and so like, I was around like the whole like gay community, and this was like before I was out, I was still in the closet at the time.

Jake Bain: And like this is like right before my sophomore year football season so like-- it was, I was feeling-- I was in the closet still but I was also like around like-- everybody around me was gay at the time, so like I look at my phone I see the Supreme Court, just like passed-- like just legalized gay marriage or whatever, and like-- everyone's phone around me started dinging and, like everyone starts like celebrating and going crazy, and so like.

I like, I get really emotional and I'm just really excited because, like I had my, I had my brother at the time, and like I knew that this meant that he and his boyfriend would get to you know, marry soon. I'm sure that was something they wanted to like always do, and so like I just, I guess like I-- I don't necessarily think like-- like obviously in the back of my mind, I think I was like happy that, like maybe one day I would get to like marry a guy now, but like. I think, from more, it was more just like it was like a step in the right direction and, like for our, for our country as a whole, just like see that, like, we were becoming more accepting of the gay, of the LGBTQ plus community. It was nice to see. It was something I'll definitely always remember.

Jamie Jones: Yeah definitely. I remember it too; it was phenomenal.

Jake Bain: Yeah.

Jamie Jones: So I know the political climate around the LGBT community is just like interesting right now. Do you think it's gotten better since we were young?

Jake Bain: Yes, um I would say, like, I mean I guess as age. Hmm I don't know. There's-- there is still a decent amount of like conservatives that are in the LGBT plus community, I would say. The older generation of like people who like used to like-- they grew up in the closet maybe. For a lot of the years, and like they just like, are recently coming out later in life and, like, I guess, having like, not that they have an experience that they have different, they have a different experience, maybe, then like people who are coming out at age-- like a lot younger ages now like, 10 through like 15 like type age, like or like random teenage years so like. It's just a different experience I guess, um which can I guess, make it challenging for people who are more conservative in the queer community to like be able to see from the perspective of like younger generations of queer kids now who are like usually more liberal leaning um, I guess, there are still like, probably like some--. not I mean, not any that I really have seen, but like I'm sure there are some younger conservative queer kids, um I just wouldn't like. I would say there's probably a lot less than there would be of the older generations, you know. Like you get like more closer to like gen Z, gen X, that's probably like more like liberal leaning kids I would think, like millennials.

Jamie Jones: Do you feel like the community in St. Louis is inclusive?

Jake Bain: Yes, I think so.

Jamie Jones: I think we touched on that so.

Jake Bain: Yeah, yeah. I think so, I mean, I think there's this, there's definitely a strong sense of pride here like for the queer community, um, like even like you see, I think I've seen it more and more like even like in our, our sports now in St. Louis are starting to have-- like our professional sports team are even trying to like make it more of a point in their mission statements and stuff to like, promote an inclusive and diverse environment and, like you see like the Blues just had their pride night a couple of weeks ago and I actually went to it was really cool like there's like you see on the jumbotron like all these Blues players like talking about LGBTQ plus inclusivity in sports and it's like oh crap like that's really cool like that's-- like y'all are really like taking a big step forward, like good job and it's just like and you see the same stuff happening with the Cardinals stuff so like.

I do think there is there's definitely more of a push for like St. Louis city as a whole to like be more inclusive for like the LGBTQ plus community and like. Also, with like the new soccer club that's coming to town like they're they're like, they're the first female majority lead MLS team and they're really, they're really big on inclusivity for the queer community as well, so, like, I think, just like when big organizations and companies like that in St. Louis who have a lot of money and control a lot of the money flow in St. Louis are able to, to have inclusive practices and stuff, it, it creates a more inclusive environment as a whole and, like I think it'll start to be seen more. And I think like it already is like I mean like I said, like when I when the Westboro Baptist church came to protest against me like, I was supported by so many people from St. Louis and people who I didn't know, never met my life, and then they probably never knew me either so it's like. It just, it got put on like FOX News and like there was a local like, Pride St. Louis, like the local pride group here in St. Louis did like a great job of getting out like to people like I guess publicizing the like counter protest and stuff like that, so there was certainly like, I guess, a willingness in the St. Louis community to stand up for the queer community when called upon, and like, so I do think there's a continued um, move in the right direction for the queer community.

Jamie Jones: Yeah I wanted to ask you too, so since you grew up here in St. Louis and then you moved away and you came back, do you think you're gonna stay or do you think you want to leave St. Louis at some point, like.

Jake Bain: That's a question that I think about more and more now the closer I get to graduating. And it's like, when I had originally moved when I originally graduated from high school I had set in my mind that I didn't want to come back to St. Louis.

I wanted to just like get-- I always wanted my, my dream is to always be in California on the west coast like that just seems like paradise to me and, like in a way, it would be, but like. Also, really expensive and like, you know, I just I also feel like I am from St. Louis and I feel like I have this like calling this like, this like calling to St. Louis and in a place where there's so much like going on, like there's like I don't know there's gonna be a lot like. That there's, there, there is a current attack on the queer community here and St. Louis and Missouri as a large and like yes, it would be nice to go move out to California and like not have to deal with it in a way and, like just like be in an environment where like. I can like, enjoy being able to be gay and like and it's nice it's great when you go out there and it really is-- California is a great place but like.

I would almost like always feel like guilty or like not, maybe not guilty is the right word, but like feel like I was like, I could be doing more back in, back home in St. Louis. At least until like there's a more inclusive environment as a whole, like in terms of, in terms of legislation and stuff like that and, like the actual like our legal, like our laws and stuff. Like people really being able to to be themselves here in St. Louis and in Missouri as a whole, like. I think once, um, if there, if we get to a point where like St. Louis becomes more inclusive to the queer community, then I think I would be more inclined to, be more okay to like leave, um, but and like experience like a different state. And like, I don't know, it's just, until that happens, like I don't know, I feel like, I just feel this like urge to like want to like stay and fight and I don't know, maybe I'm crazy but.

Jamie Jones: You're not crazy. No, no, um I think there's a lot of us who initially wanted to leave St. Louis and then we kind of realized, wait, there's work to be done here. And it's home.

Jake Bain: Yeah it's home, it's still home. Like I went down to the Arch a couple weeks ago with my boyfriend. His brother just, like came back in town from college and we went down to the Arch and like it was just like, damn like this is, this is-- you don't get to see this much, like often, like you know, there's not many other places that there's like this big beautiful Arch and like going up into it and, like seeing like the whole skyline and stuff. It's really cool like it made me, it made me realize like oh, yeah I love St. Louis and there's-- it'll always have a special place in my heart. You know, it's nice.

Jamie Jones: Yeah. Um, okay last question I have for you: what experiences or certain events within the community or because, you know, you've had a, you know, a pretty public life, do you think, do you anticipate might end up in history books?

Jake Bain: Um, I would say, probably um just being one of the first openly queer Division One football players would be something that is probably going to be talked about for a while. Um, I hope that, like it's, it's able to inspire others in the queer community and athletics, to be themselves. And then hopefully one day it's not talked about and people don't-- people are like oh yeah, they had a gay-- that, that was like, that was that was a big deal back then? Like.

Now there's there's all kinds of like people in athletics, and like no one cares and so like. Hopefully, then there's also a day, where that happens as well and, and I guess people are able to look back and like appreciate the like, the work that we did here back here in 2018 and and so on, but like are able to at least to also like, enjoy the fact that they don't have to worry about their sexuality, or who they are, and are able to just go out and play sports. Umm but yeah. I think I guess, probably the fact that, like, I was one of the first to do it.

Jamie Jones: Yeah. That's something really, really awesome about your life and seems like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders when it comes to that.

Is there anything else you would like to talk about before we end this interview? Anything I have not asked you that you wish I would have asked?

Jake Bain: I don't think so.